What makes you a unique individual? How much can we learn from each other? How can we better not just our relationships with those closest to us, but with all of those who come in and out of our lives along the way? Full disclosure: I’m well aware there may not be a one-size fits-all answer, and the potential ways you answer these invaluable questions are endless. Everyone has distinctive traits and characteristics that make them who they are. This is the focal point of why I am creating this blog – as a catalyst for discussion; an open forum for all - to converse, listen and appreciate each other’s unique life experiences and individual perspectives. Today, more inherently than ever, safe and free conversation between men and women of all ages is of the utmost importance; and frankly, it really is about time!
My name is Alex Cusano, or “Cous”, as I am more commonly-known to my friends. I work in the ever-changing world of marketing. The title of this blog portrays one of my top goals in life – embracing my individuality and not always fitting-in, while listening and encouraging others to express themselves to the fullest. As Emerson put it, “to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Expressing who I truly am as a man in today’s society is challenging, but definitely worth it. The normal perception of a man today is to be stoic, non-emotional and aggressive, but this could not be further from who I truly am. I am a highly sensitive person and I am so grateful to possess these inherent traits. (See if you are too! https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/ )
It is not always the healthiest to compare oneself to friends, but some differences can be too glaring to not notice. When I think about it myself, my friends and I are actually incredibly different, and this is more than okay! Our differences are what make us unique, and our uniqueness is what creates introspective conversation. In fact, I am still learning to love and accept myself simply because my morals and beliefs are very much distinctive to that of my friends’. I strongly believe there are many more people who also feel like they are not “normal” out there, and my vision is for this to be a place where we can all gather and be ourselves, share our thoughts, and dare to be different.
My passion behind creating this blog is due to my life experiences and understanding of family relationships, in particular, what I saw from my parents. Not to get long-winded, but my childhood was anything but “normal” or stress-free. I had parents who did not get along well, to put it lightly. In all honesty, they probably should not have been together, but they did bring my siblings and I into the world, and for that I will be forever grateful. This silver-lining type perspective took a while to sink in, and I am still learning to see and believe it. In life, I always make it a point to try and view every experience through the lens of a silver lining, and my upbringing was the reason why I gained this perception. At a very young age, I was taught the absolute wrong way to treat a spouse and your kids by my father. Shortly after that, I unfortunately also witnessed the wrong choice to make when deciding between romance and your children by my mother.
From my earliest memories as a child, I remember my father as a very abusive person. He not only verbally yelled and threatened us, but also physically abused us. Going through this was traumatizing as a defenseless child, but taught me that I must always treat those in my life with care and respect. It is ironic the lessons we learn from others' mistakes. While my mom did take care of us at an early age, she decided to move in with her boyfriend when I turned 14. (Great timing, right?) My twin sister and I had just started high school, while my older brother bravely moved to Rhode Island for college. All of this transpired directly following my father’s arrest a year earlier, so at least at this point he was (thankfully) out of our lives. While my father exiting our lives was undoubtedly for the best, my sister Gabby and I were left to fend for ourselves as freshman in high school. If I had to choose one motto for life’s trials and tribulations, it would be Tony Horton’s, “Do your best, and forget the rest.” These dark times challenged my beliefs, and I had no choice but to give life my all and let go of what I could not control. Looking back, it has, and will continue to get me through the obstacles we all inevitably face.
As highly intelligent and open-minded people as you all are, I encourage you to share your life stories as well, doing your best to be un-apologetically honest. My goal is for this outlet to be a safe space for people to share their own experiences, both challenging and enjoyable, and for all of us to grow together. At times it may seem like you aren’t heard or understood, I understand this on a spiritual level. If you are reading this, please know that you do have a voice, and your voice needs to be heard here, because you do matter and so does your story. I will invite my friends, family and mentors to write posts, as well, to broaden the dialogue to new heights and varied perspectives. Each week will explore a new theme, with topics ranging from embracing sensitivity, gender equality, social media, all the way to supporting and encouraging those who have experienced domestic violence, among others (suggestions welcome). Also, I will post poems and other creative content on a weekly basis. Below, I would love to see you share, comment, and forward this page to friends and family, so that these posts can be a collective and public space for us to exchange on.
If you or anyone you know might want to get involved on a post and share your stories, I'm happy and excited to connect! Please email me at: alex.deservetobeheard@gmail.com
Everyone has a story, and everyone deserves to be heard.
Peace and prosperity,
-Alex
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